No More A' Roving
by SunnyZim
Summary: Jacob and Bella reach the end of a phase...in more ways than one. And they discover that whilst weeping may last for a night, a shout of joy comes in the morning...


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was flipping through my book of quotes looking for some inspiration and my eyes landed on the poem you see below. I've always loved this poem as it just has such a lovely poignant, nostalgic feel to it and it got me thinking.....and the fic below is what resulted:-) I hope you enjoy! **

**By the way, today is the last day for voting in the Sort of Beautiful Challenge, so hop on over there and vote! My fic is "A Golden-Hearted Rose":-) **

**In addition, "A Golden-Hearted Rose" has been nominated for BEST FLUFF in the Sparkle Awards! Voting begins October 16!! There's some great fics nominated there so go and have a look and vote! **

**FINALLY, my Sam/Emily story "Yesterday is But a Dream" was recommended by Stretch in her Emily/Leah article at The Lazy, Yet Discerning Ficster blog. There's some other fantastic fic recs there as well and the article is in itself a very interesting read, so I suggest you check that out too! All the links are on my profile - just copy and paste them into the search bar and you're 'A' for Away!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight. Or the poem below.**

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**No More A-Roving**

_So we'll go no more a-roving _

_So late into the night,_

_We'll go no more a-roving, boys,_

_Let the moon shine ne'er so bright._

James V of Scotland

Bella could remember that night as clearly as if it was yesterday. The weather had been suitably dramatic for the occasion with a raging thunderstorm splitting the skies in two. The rain bucketed down on the roof of her and Jacob's little house in La Push and every now and then flashes of lightning would illuminate the dark room where she lay awake, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Jacob to come home from patrol.

The front door banged and shortly afterwards she heard the fridge door open as Jake rooted around for something to eat. A few minutes later, the fridge door closed again and she heard his footsteps making their way towards their bedroom. He paused for a moment in the doorway, a huge dark figure, assessing whether she was still awake, before making his way to the bed and collapsing next to her on top of the sheets with a sigh.

Bella rolled over and started to snuggle up with him, before coming to an uncomfortable realisation.

"Jake, you're _wet_!" She exclaimed, rolling quickly away from him again.

Instead of his usual throaty chuckle however, he just sighed deeply again, and that was when Bella began to suspect something was up.

"Jake? Is everything OK?"

He sighed heavily a third time, and then reaching out with a rapidly drying arm, he pulled her back into his damp but warm side. His hand moved up to play absentmindedly with her hair but he still didn't say anything.

"Jake? Honey, talk to me. What's wrong? Please tell me."

"I've decided to stop phasing. Tonight was my last patrol."

Jacob spoke in a flat, empty voice and it took a while for his words to sink in. When they did, Bella felt her heart skip a beat.

"What? Why? Have you been thinking about this for a while? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I – I just didn't want to make a big deal about it. I have been thinking about it for a while, but I only made up my mind tonight whilst I was patrolling. I won't be the first one to do it you know – Sam stopped a couple of years ago and Jared stopped last month, and now Paul's thinking of stopping too. They all want to age for their wives and….I do too Bells. You're thirty now and I still look like I'm twenty-five. I don't want you to grow old without me. It's time to stop."

"But Jake…you _love _being a werewolf. I know you didn't use to, but now that the Cullens are gone and vampires hardly ever come to this area, you love the thrill of the speed and the strength and the _freedom_. You know you do. I – I don't want you to give that up for _me_, Jake. I know how much it means to you."

Jacob's arm tightened around her, pulling her in closer and his voice, when he spoke again, was huskier than usual.

"You're right Bells. It does mean a lot to me. But you mean even more – far, far more than mere speed and strength and the thrill of the hunt. I _love _you Bells and I want to do this. I _have _to do this. Please let me."

Bella felt her heart swell with love for the man beside her at the same time that she felt a small pang of loss, a poignant sense of the end of an era. However, she quickly pushed the latter feeling down, and turning in Jacob's arms, she began to softly kiss down his jaw, murmuring "I love you Jacob Black. Do you know that? I love you so, so much."

And thus it was that a new phase in the life of Jacob and Isabella Black began.

------------------

The next few months were hard. And that was an understatement. Now that he could no longer phase to relieve himself of pent up emotion, Jacob found himself getting antsy and irritable. He snapped at the smallest provocation and found it hard to concentrate on any one task for long as his patience was wearing very thin. He and Bella got into argument after argument and had several screaming matches which was previously unheard of for them. In addition, Jacob's temperature was going wild and he would alternately find himself either burning up and pouring with sweat or shivering with cold.

Sam assured Jacob and Bella, when they desperately sought him out for advice, that all of this was normal and that it would eventually pass and Jacob would go back to being the happy, easygoing person that he had been in the past, but as the months dragged on and there was no immediate sign of improvement, they began to lose hope.

Jacob found himself withdrawing from those of his friends who were still in the pack, such as Quil and Embry. As he felt his strength and speed diminishing to a normal human level, he felt new insecurities start to rise within him. Every day he felt a bit weaker, a bit more mortal, and he could see his muscles gradually shrinking before his eyes and feel his previously scorching skin cooling down. He felt as though he was losing a part of himself and it scared him and saddened him at the same time.

Bella, in the meantime, watched helplessly as her husband withdrew into himself, shrinking not only in his stature but also in his confidence. She knew that all the wolves went through this tough transitory stage when they stopped phasing but she had never had to witness it so close up before. Seeing it first hand was so very different from simply hearing about it from the other wives, and she battled with feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. She did all she could to show Jacob that she loved him and to assure him that his current pain was worth it, but deep within she wondered whether it really was, whether _she _was worth it.

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However, Sam had not lied and over time, as the russet wolf within Jacob Black accepted the fact that its glory days were over and settled into hibernation, the Jacob that Bella knew and love gradually began to resurface. Granted, he was a smaller, more human Jacob, with a normal temperature, but he was still _Jake _and that was what mattered.

Months went past and Jacob gradually integrated himself back into the society that he had withdrawn himself from. Quil and Embry began to come around again and loud, boisterous laughter echoed around the little house. Jacob started up his own garage just as he had always wanted to and things went back to normal. Well, relatively speaking. Because whilst the wolf may have gone into hibernation, now and then, on bright nights when the pack was running, it would raise its head and sniff the air hopefully, and then Jacob would become restless again and would have to go into his garage to bang his frustration out on broken things. But this never lasted for long, and the next day, the sun would be back in his smile again and it would be as if nothing had happened. At those times, Bella would wonder whether she would ever get _her Jacob _back again.

As it happened, she would. On a night so very similar to the one that took him from her in the first place, that in retrospect she could only smile at life's somewhat ironic symmetry.

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Just as with that other night, a storm was raging outside, and lightning was rending the sky like a grey sheet. Just as before, she was lying in a bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for Jacob to come. She heard the door bang loudly and heard footsteps hurrying towards the room she was in. With a feeling of deja-vu, she turned her head to see the tall dark figure rushing through the doorway.

"Am I late?! I'm so sorry Bells – I came as soon as I could! Are you OK? Is everything alright? Is the-"

"Hush, Jake," she murmured softly, reaching out to stroke his cheek with her left hand, "everything's fine. You're not too late and the baby's fine. It just looks like he'll be coming sooner than we expected…."

Her words were cut off abruptly as her muscles clenched in another contraction. Silently she thanked God for Emily who had been visiting when she had gone into premature labour. Emily had rushed her to the hospital and they had managed to locate Jacob who had been out of town getting some especially low priced spare parts for the cars he was working on. He had left immediately but it had taken him a fair amount of time to get to the hospital, even pushing the speed limit as he was.

But he was here now and that was what mattered. Bella clenched on to Jacob's hand, as another contraction wracked her body. Jacob looked at her with worried eyes, stroking her hair with his other hand and murmuring quiet words of encouragement to her.

-------------------

Five hours later, Ephraim William Black came into the world, a bit on the small side, but strong and healthy nonetheless. Bella watched as the nurse cleaned him off and handed him to Jacob to hold briefly. Lying there in a haze of blissful exhaustion, she watched her husband take their tiny firstborn into his large arms, holding him carefully as if he was afraid of breaking him. And as she raised her eyes to meet his, she saw it – that indefinable something in his expression, which had been there ever since that night five years ago, was gone. And in its place was not only joy, but _peace. _He smiled blissfully at her and she smiled back, with an extra lightness in her heart. Because she knew deep down that finally, the russet wolf had given up. It had gone and left off tormenting her husband. Jacob Black had finally come home. And she knew also, that if she were to ask him now, he would tell her with all honesty that they had been _worth it_.

**A/N: Review and let me know what you think! Hearing from you guys totally makes my day - and I need something to make me smile as my life is very stressful right now:-(**


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